The vocabulary of the method
- Dismissive-avoidant attachment — Dismissive-avoidant attachment explained by breakup coach Benny Lichtenwalner: a style that handles stress by going cold and cutting off access to feelings — not the feelings themselves. How to spot it in an ex, how it differs from other styles, and what it means for reconnecting.
- Fearful-avoidant attachment — Fearful-avoidant attachment means craving closeness while fearing it — the push-pull style. Breakup coach Benny Lichtenwalner defines the term, shows how a fearful-avoidant ex behaves after a breakup, and how it differs from dismissive-avoidant and anxious styles.
- Feigned indifference — Definition of feigned indifference in Benny Lichtenwalner's method: an ex's performed not-caring that masks suppressed feeling. How to tell it from genuine indifference on the investment ladder, why avoidant exes wear it, and why faking it back doesn't work.
- Temperature check — Definition of a temperature check in Benny Lichtenwalner's Five Rules method: any question that probes an ex's feelings ('where's your head at?'). Why it collapses attraction, what it sounds like in real texts, and what to do instead.
- The Investment Ladder — Definition of the investment ladder in Benny Lichtenwalner's Five Rules method: a five-rung scale (Cold to Pulling) for reading an ex's engagement by message length, questions, and volunteered availability — and knowing exactly when it's safe to ask for the next date.