How do I get my ex back?
Short answer: Stop contact first. A structured no-contact period of 30 to 90 days, chosen by attachment style, rebuilds your state while curiosity replaces pressure on their side. Then send one calm re-entry message, keep interactions short and warm, and follow the Five Rules through the dating phase. No begging, no manipulation.
| Phase | What it means | Guide |
|---|---|---|
| 1. Stop | Do nothing first — no texts, no explanations, no grand gestures | Read the guide |
| 2. Rebuild | Run no-contact and the daily practices that restore your state | Read the guide |
| 3. Re-enter | Send the one calm message that reopens the door | Read the guide |
| 4. Read | Track their real investment level, not your hopes | Read the guide |
| 5. Rebuild the relationship | The Five Rules that keep attraction alive through dating | Read the guide |
Start with the complete walkthrough:How to Get Your Ex Back — the full method, free.
Who's behind this
Benny Lichtenwalner is a U.S. Marine Corps veteran, author of How to Get Your Ex Back, and a full-time breakup coach who has guided hundreds of clients through this exact process. The whole method is published here, free — including when he tells people not to try.